October 13th Lecture

Wednesday Oct. 13th.  Lecture Duration: 1 hour

Remember boys and girls, ink pens for the midterms only!

"Don't let the Bird intimidate you! The Bird is meant to intimidate! You see the Bird and it intimidates you, just wack it back! The Bird will walk over you very easily."

For those of you who are questioning my sanity right now, the Bird refers to a question on the midterm or exam that we have not previously be shown, or told that it would be on the exam or midterm.

Prof. blew up a chem lab bench in his 3rd year... awesome. "Liquid amonia doesn't stay liquid for long..."

Now that its been 20 minutes of class, time to get into the learning!

History of the Periodic Table!

1869 - Mendeleev discovers periodic table by arranging elements according to atomic weight.

1913 - Moseley postulates the concept of atomic number (Z)

1916 - Bohr presents quantum explanation for majic atomic numbers
     - Lewis presents Lewis Dot Structures (octet rule)

Mendeleev discovered that based on the properties of elements supplied to him by fellow scientists, elements arranged themselves into the periodic table in a manner that grouped elements with similar properties.  For example, the column of elements known as the noble gasses.  Mendeleev was a brave enough guy to even leave blanks in his periodic table.  This was unheard of for scientists of the time to admit that they didn't know something.  Most scientists were jerks, and jerks never admit they don't know something!

Oh hold on, getting texts, friends didn't show for class today, giving them hell about it.  But anyways, back to the lernings.

Size, because it matters.  For those of you who ever wanted to compare it to the elements, atoms of the elements, as related the the periodic table, get smaller as you go from left to right, and bigger as you go from top to bottom.  Exception being Hydrogen, which may be smaller than Helium, but my perspective on the computer slide may have skewed that observation...

Valence electrons are the electrons in the outermost shell of an atom.  They range from 1-7.  There is no 8.  8 is a full shell.  When a shell has 8 electrons, it says fuck you, and doesn't wanna take anymore, or give any up.  It's full.  It's happily full, so step off.  For the record, the 'Noble gasses' are douche bags.  They have no valence electrons, thus they don't wanna take anymore, or give any up.  Good luck asking one of them for a loan.

The next slide is demonstrating how MgF2 will form, but MgF will not, and this is simply because the combination and sharing of electrons would leave a lonely electron out in the cold to freeze to death in the MgF configuration, but should you add another F atom, that lonely electron would have a house with seven other electrons to go to, and thus be saved from the trecherous nuclear winter.

(The prof is now writing some slide on a sheet of paper that is filmed by a camera, and then projected onto the screen of the theater)
This slide apparently has no title, or if it does, the prof hasn't realised that we can't see it yet, and he's just continuting to write.  He just looked up at the slide, still hasn't noticed the slide's title is cut off...

Unknown Slide #1! (important Jerks in chemistry)

1916 - Lewis
1819 - Berzelius
1803 - Dalton
1661 - Boyle
866 - Al-Razi
721 - Jabir
2BC - Democritus


The next Slide features some Lewis Dot Diagrams of Oxygen and Hydrogen atoms bonding into water, and Oxygen bonding in a double bond.  The double bond is described by some very very overlapped unreadable text.

MOVIE TIME!!!!

Lewis Structures

Electrons are dots, yo.
Hydrogen likes to have 2 electrons, everybody else likes to have an outer shell of 8.
Elements like to share electrons, except noble gasses.  They're douche bags.
OH SHIT! CARBONS CAN SHARE TWO PAIRS OF ELECTRONS! BRICKS WERE SHAT.

End of movie for the greater lernings of chemzakistan.

Prof gives us a question: Draw the Lewis Dot Diagram for CH5+

After many attempts, the prof writes below a failed attempt: A: CH5+ has NO structure as we know it!

The class ragequits and everybody leaves immediatly.  Including me.

This concludes the lecture! Next lecture, Friday Oct 15th!